The Developer Who Reviews Everything and Ships Nothing

You've seen this person. Maybe you've worked with them for years. They leave 40 comments on your PR. Variable names, spacing philosophy, whether your abstraction is "truly necessary," a link to a 2014 blog post about hexagonal architecture. The review sits open for a week. Then two. Meanwhile, their own tickets age quietly in the backlog. Untouched. Before We Go There Most strict reviewers are not villains. A lot of them have been burned. They've watched a rushed merge take down production at 2a