The PHP Criticism You've Never Actually Thought Through

TL;DR — I've been writing PHP for 15 years. I've tried Ruby, Groovy, and Java. I came back each time. This article goes through the serious criticisms of PHP — stdlib inconsistency, the stateless model, no real async — and where each one actually holds up, and where it doesn't. I've been writing PHP for over 15 years. I've tried Ruby, Groovy, and Java — not out of curiosity, but because I genuinely questioned whether PHP was the right tool. I came back each time. Not out of habit, but because th