Depresso-Tron 418: I Built a Bureaucratic Coffee...

This is a submission for the DEV April Fools Challenge I want to be clear about something upfront: this server has been running in production for three days and has successfully brewed zero cups of coffee. I consider this a success. What I Built Depresso-Tron 418 is an RFC 2324-compliant HTCPCP server. It implements the BREW and WHEN methods from the Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol, which is a real protocol that Larry Masinter published on April 1, 1998, and which the Internet Engineering